Action star (lets say James Bond or one of his brothers) wakes up in room with flawless green and white draping. The only red exists as a small round spot in the otherwise white netted bandage on his forehead. And is if only purpose of this conversation is to deride a normal researcher, here is the conversation that ensues.
JB (trying to pull out a gun from his hospital uniform): Where am I? Who are you? Why am I here?
Doctor: Hello James! Calm down! I am Dr. Oglivyscteninet. (James never understands the name but it sounds like word Omniscient). You were shot 123 times by some extremists belonging to a country called Aslo, while you were in mission to get information about another extremist group in a small town of Chapalistan. I was able to take out 121 bullets out.
JB: How do you know about my mission? And did you say 121? 121 out of 123?
Doctor: While you were asleep, I ran your brain scans through a memory recreator, and thus could get the imprints of all the information in your brain. Once I had recreated the faces of all your assailants, I ran then through a facial skin pattern recognition software and matched it to 4 people belonging to same clan in Aslo. With all due modesty, I can say both memory recreator and facial skin pattern recognization software are two of my amazing inventions.
Regarding 121 bullets out of 123, yeah, 1 bullet actually just passed straight through your body making a big gaping hole. I filled that hole with my own discovery, a tissue simulating seaweed. Regarding the other one that was struck in your brain and too risky to take out, I have designed an electromagnetic sytems with a magnets spread all across this earth. So no matter wherever you go in this world, the magnet change their strength accordingly and your bullet remains at the same position in your brain. No need to worry!
JB: What are you doctor? Is all this real or am I being punke’d by that Kutcher guy?
Doctor: Oh! Its all real! It indeed is! But its perfectly natural for you to believe that a genius like me can’t exist. But I am real. Its just due to my eclectic tastes that I am a MD in more than a couple fields of medicine.
JB: Oh well! That’s great! But can you arrange for my return trip to my majesty’s service?
Doctor: Sure! Sure! I already arranged for it. You see, I don’t like company of outside world for too long. So I already built a car for you, so that, no offence meant, but you can leave as soon as you wake up.
The car is fitted with all modern day weaponry and besides has a self defense mechanism that starts digging a bunker and hide underground in case of holocaust. You see my eclectic tastes spill over to mechanical design, arms and ammunitions too.
JB: Wow! But don’t tell me that it can fly too!
Doctor: Of course it can! All flysters designed by me come fitted with a normal flying and space launch modes.
JB: Sir, you are truly a genius. Can I have a pair of tuxedos, so that I can leave.
Doctor: Oh! No! I have designed a special suit for you out of liquefied platinum mixed with a carbon nanotube coating underneath. It should evade any 123 shot occurrences later in your life.
JB: Wow! Wht are you, doctor? You are a medical doctor, you can make cars that fly, design bombs, make amazing suits of whatever amazing stuff that you mix up. How come you are still one of us?
Doctor: No No! Here you are mistaken! This is not real me! Its just a part of me in a body suit. The real me is right now 125 light years away, helping people at planet Qyusheeba, devising a plan for their survival from water rains that is corroding the unprotected skulls of those people.
JB: I know for sure now, either I had a blow on head or I am definitely being punke’d.