When life gives you lemons, DO NOT make lemonade!

They say, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” I tend to disagree, because in my own experience, life NEVER gives you lemons. When was the last time that some stranger named ‘life’ (first name, last name probably ‘boat’) walked up to you and said, “Here, have some lemons!” Ok, I am being too demanding, when was the last time you got lemons randomly, free of cost, with no anticipation of getting them in first place.

                  Secondly, lets assume that life did in fact give you lemons by some unordinary twist of fate, even then, the assumption behind this statement is that you are in pretty dire straits, and life has only given you lemons. Nothing else! If you just have lemons, and nothing else, making lemonade is bit tricky. Lemonade as I learned from my recent google search, needs sugar, water, and maraschino cherries (if you are making pink lemonade). Since life has given you nothing else, you will have to buy this stuff from grocery store that is if you have money. Now, essentially you are stuck in situation where for the sake of using those free lemons, you end up spending lot more of your money. This is exactly like getting Bath and Body works coupon that says “Get another tiny-meaningless-useless-hopeless shower gel even though you already have a good one at home with purchases above $50.” Moreover, if you have money, and you are in dire straits, you should probably save that money, and not waste on lemonade.

                  Now, lets assume that you are in dire straits and you don’t have money. In that case you can try to steal sugar, but any stealing exercise comes with the risk of getting caught and being sent to jail. So, essentially what you can try is to steal it and stash your sugar 2 feet under ground, and walk happily and carefree for next few days, pretending as if you know nothing about sugar packets that have gone missing from the town store. When the matter finally dies down, you can take them out again, and try to make your lemonade. Although, I am afraid your lemons and your sugar both would have gone bad by now.

                  Some of the more business-savvy among you might think that you should make lemonade, not for you, but for a lemonade-stall business. Although this idea is still plagued by problems mentioned in earlier paragraph, more importantly, you should not start a business on stolen goods. In long run, it leads to bankruptcy (e.g wall street banks), in which case you would be expecting more lemons. So, you are essentially stuck in vicious cycle of lemons-stealing-bankruptcy.  Even if you do decide to sell the lemonade made out of stolen goods, it is not a very profitable business. Else there would be more billionaires in schools than Silicon valley.

                  Now you may wonder, what can be done if life does give you lemons. I think you should either eat them raw, or just throw them. If you are really hell-bent on the path of moral corruptness, you should dry them till they become bullet-hard, and then attack the next guy who looks rich enough. But if you do get rich in doing so, don’t forget to buy a bagful of lemons, and give it to the next guy who looks in abject condition. Only then can we have a sustainable lemon-based societal development. 

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