Fielding Strategy for a Serial Killer Batsman

I have been trying to devise an effective fielding strategy against a batsman who is a psychotic serial killer. The plan shown above is not fool-proof but it is the best I have got so far. Anyways, here are a few other finer points:

  1. Hang in groups
  2. Field close to the stadium exit points.
  3. Don’t bowl him a bouncer! Body line are strict No No!
  4. During drinks break, Β if he is near the drinks trolley, then don’t go near it.
  5. Never tie his shoe laces. (If he requests, then it is time to run)
  6. …and again,most importantly, HANG IN GROUPS!!!

[Note: Don’t leave comments about ‘only 2 players outside the inner circle rule’. Life of my players is too precious]

11 thoughts on “Fielding Strategy for a Serial Killer Batsman

  1. Nikita says:

    haha….this is lol stuff. how about not playing cricket altogether? πŸ˜€

    • Gaurav says:

      What do you mean not play cricket?! πŸ˜› didn’t somebody say that “cricket is our religion and we are all a bunch of lunatics, who turn fanatics at the name of religion. But if you meant, no play cricket with serial killers, then you are “serial killer-cist” πŸ˜›

  2. Anuradha Kushwanshi says:

    this post is life saver for us cricket fans!! πŸ™‚
    now waiting for “Unlikely things to hear” series on cricket.

    • Gaurav says:

      Ha ha ha….well unlikely things to hear in cricket commentary is up! let me know what you think!

      • Anuradha Kushwanshi says:

        wow.. that would be a good read. I hope Rakhi ji is again an important ‘item’ of this series. πŸ˜›
        What about giving me a sneak peek at this? After all, I’m THE (self declared) motivation behind it!! πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

  3. Sorcerer says:

    nice one..
    good strategy

  4. Vikas says:

    dude why what the hell has that leg umpire done wrong to you, he i think is the most unsecured guy on that field, not even close to any exit. Either change his position or make an exit for him as well. If the batsman wont find any one to kill he surely will go after that poor umpire…

    • Gaurav says:

      Ha ha ha…i did think about leg umpires, but i have own personal grudges against leg umpires…They never used to give bouncers as no-balls when I was kid with short height!…, let them be killed! πŸ™‚

  5. Ankur says:

    Satisfying treat after this long period of humor starvation….looking at this post, i think that this break has really refilled your insanity…

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