No! You Moron…

…you are not going to turn into a pumpkin at midnight. You can stay out till late.

…you cannot go on some job finder website and fill application forms to be the next Grim Reaper. It is not an advertised post kind of thing.

…Earth is not flat! You cannot walk over the edge, go over to the bottom side, hang there due to gravity and qualify to be called ‘Spiderman’. That’s not how it works.

…Earth is not flat!! You cannot stand at the edge, and play ‘Spitting into outer space’ competition.

 …Running inside a plane is not going to reduce/increase your flight time.

 …when I say ‘White chocolate Mocha’, it does not imply ‘ICED White Chocolate Mocha’.

 …Tom Cruise is not God!! And don’t ask me, ‘why not?’

 …the reason telephone booths are no longer used is not because too many superhero were changing clothes there.

 …you cannot jump out of a plane, and unbutton your shirt to make a temporary parachute.

 …we cannot cover the whole Pacific Ocean with ‘post-its’.

 …you cannot use watermelons in Hadron collider –not even for fun-sake.

 …inventing a machine that converts every creature into a 2D cartoon is not going to make more space for increasing population.

 …J.K. Rowling is not responsible for extinction of hippogriffs. They never existed!!!!

 …just because your parents named you ‘Neo’ does not mean this whole world is a $%^ing MATRIX and you are the ‘ONE’. By same logic your younger brother should have been a ‘tragedy’! 

 

[Note: This post is dedicated to all the morons who at some point have contributed to screwing up my life. Thanks!]

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6 thoughts on “No! You Moron…

  1. charu says:

    All the morons be blessed !!! they gave excellent insight for other morons :))

    • Mayur says:

      Well said Charu,….nice post Gaurav….I really liked the “dedicated to all the morons who screwed up my life” part….

  2. Debleena says:

    🙂 really good one!
    of course the first one was my favorite 🙂
    l

  3. Gaurav says:

    @Charu
    Well I doubt that they will get the insight….there is a good reason they are morons! 🙂

    @Mayur
    It was a heartfelt dedication!

    @Debleena
    I was sure you are going to like the first one…thats why I started with it! 🙂

  4. Haha….all of them were chuckle worthy…
    But the best was about the telephone booths…..made me laugh!

  5. Anuradha Kushwanshi says:

    Lol !! 😀
    really like #3

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