Notes on Valentine’s day

I distinctly remember that last year I had written a blog about Saudi’s banning Red for V-day. Since then a BMW M5 with a registration plate that says ‘UAE’ has been following me all over the place. I have seen it outside my coffee shop, my home, my lab, …. almost everywhere. Either it’s some strange force of attraction between that BMW M5 and me, or I am being followed! Really I think I am being followed!

            Anyways this year, for reasons excluding and including that I am scared of dying at hands of a crowd throwing stones at me, I am going to focus back home to India, where a group of saffron clad purveyors of God’s message, were trying to correct the morality standards of society on V-day (and earning media limelight on their way). I heard that there were incidents where couples were asked to tie Rakhis (a thread that signifies brother-sister relationship) to each other under duress, a guy was married to a donkey (what??) and a lot of couples were beaten up. And all this while when moral policing was going on, real cops who are always in a perpetual state of disillusionment, were standing and watching the proceedings. Anyhow, my take on the things is that, first, I agree with the quote that says Censorship like charity should start at home but(/and) should end there. Secondly, I don’t agree with the way some self proclaimed moral poilicing groups conduct their business, should I be allowed equal people beating, vanadalising rights to do the same to these groups. (and not to forget media attention!). Third, can somebody please tell me what happened to that guy who married to the donkey. Interesting story there isn’t it…

(The guy slowly trudges in to his parents house, with his newly wed wife donkey, slowly following him.

Slow music that accompanies walking fades down…)

Guy: Mom (pause), Dad, This is your new Donkey in Law!

Parents: Nahinnnnn!!!! (a very dramatic NO!)Mom faints!

(Donkey walks slowly towards her mother in law)

Chorus (all saffron colored): Applause! Jai Shri Ram! Jai Shri Ram!

Curtain falls

 

*****

[Excerpt from my novel currently titled ‘The Greatest Novel Ever Written”]

 

” I think I should write a song for her this Valentine’s Day and compose music on a didgeridoo for that song. Then I can arrange a group of Hawaiian dancers to dance to that tune. Oh! I would also need some flamingoes. Oh! And I would need a kid to dress up as cupid. …”

“What the hell are you talking about. V-day is tomorrow! Just tell her!”

 

****** 

What if Shri Ram and Sita got married on February 14th. Would it change Shri Ram Sena’s outlook towards V-Day in any way or will they file copyright case against St. valentine??

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4 thoughts on “Notes on Valentine’s day

  1. charumani says:

    Well..this time a new thing… if a girl and a guy are caught by the sri ram sena hanging out on V day..they be made to marry each other then and there.. Imagine!! Someone asking someone time/bus stop/way.. and next minute hey ..the strangers are hu8sband and wife !!!!!!!

  2. Gauri says:

    Hey.. u missed out on the pink chaddi campaign!!

    here after a long long time and enjoyed your characteristic banter

  3. Gaurav says:

    @charu
    thats really cool! this idea can be used by hopeless, useless, losers like me to their benefit!

    @Gauri
    Thanks for coming back! Yeah i missed out on Pink Chaddi…I don”t really know why i missed out though! In retrospect, i think i was just lazy to write anything! 🙂

  4. Ankur says:

    Guys……you should have seen the cartoon in newspaper next day…..hundreds of poverty ridden couples were asking some “sena” activist to marry them. Well ….this is not a bad idea,,,, it will save poor people many expenses like paying hefty bucks to “pandits” and dowry!!!!!!

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