God procrastinates too! You know, how I know this? Because the apocalypse that was last supposed to happen in Year 2000 is now going to take place on December 21, 2012. According to a recent CNN report, there are people who believe that on December 21, 2012, when the 5126-year old cycle of Mayan calendar ends, God will go clueless as to how can he manage this planet without a calendar, and in a fit of frustration induced rage, destroy this whole earth.
I don’t know how a cyclic calendar works but I am pretty sure we have better quality calendars nowadays, and God is intelligent enough to move to better, easier to read calendars. God is smarter than what you think. As a creationism savant would say, if looking at mirror raises any doubts about God’s smartness, look at other things he has made. (My version is, “WTH!! But still, if you want to know God’s smartness, tell me his cranial capacity”)
But if you are one of those who believe that world is indeed going to end on December 21, 2012, I have a good news for you; some Mayan scholars believe the cycle ends on December 23, 2012. WOW!! Two more days to do Christmas shopping!! Yippee!! Oh! No Christmas that year!! SANTA!! PUHlease do something! And don’t forget to buy those official apocalypse T-shirts. YES, OFFICIAL T-shirts that say ,’2012 The End’. It’s a last stand effort to survive, so that when apocalypse arrives in any form it is welcomed by a crowd of people wearing similar T-shirts, reminding it that it is indeed 2012, and its time for end, and we are grateful to it! Maybe, the apocalypse will return back seeing us so happy about the whole thing.
Regarding the form in which apocalypse is going to happen, there may be many theories ranging from great fire to great flood, but I have my own theories;
1) Appendix, otherwise thought to be a vestigial organ of human beings will start enlarging and after blowing out the internal organs will envelop us all, and everybody’s enlarged appendix will then coalesce with each other forming one big galactic mass.
2) Credit crunch will continue, economies will keep on going down, and lack of Christmas gifts will make people miserable, and people will kill each other.
3) A slightly different version of last theory can be, Obama will fail to deliver on the promise of Hope and then all hopeless people will kill each other.