Monthly Archives: November 2008

Let Us Make Our Own Fossil Fuel!

[Conversation]

“I have an amazing idea to solve world’s energy crisis. Do you want to hear it?”

“Not interested!”

“If we all work together, we can make our own fossil fuel”

“Still nooootttt interested!!!!!”

“No really, if a whole group of people, like big group, really really big group, stands on a sedimentary rock and starts jumping in unison, we will increase the pressure on embedded carbon in rock and voila, there is our fossil fuel.”

“You know what?! I have no idea as to why you are still out of a mental asylum”

“No really, its gonna work! I just have to work the dynamics out!”

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‘Health Insurance do not Cover Broken Doors’

 

Unfortunately, I had to be at a hospital’s waiting room last week. After shuffling through all the old scientific magazines on table and getting to know that there is a good chance that universe might fold itself into a pretzel like shape before finally ending into shape of a croissant, I decided to do something more interesting.

 

For the greater good of humankind, I decided to find ‘the maximum distance from which an automated door can sense human presence’. Like any other scientific research, this required a lot of experiments. Obviously, the door was “opening-closing” “opening-closing”… And as it always happens with great minds, the world comes to stop you when you are about to get the answer; the woman at the reception counter shouted, ” Honey, your health insurance does not cover broken doors!”

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Scribbles from Last Week [Week 46, 2008]

 

[Conversation]

{the kid was inside washroom and his mom was waiting outside}

 

Mom: Sam!!

Sam: What??

Mom: Hurry up Sammy! I am waiting outside.

Sam: HUNNNNNNNNN! Thaash Thash Thash! Boom Boom!

Mom: SAAAMMMM!!!

Sam: Coming!!! (pause)….Boom! Boom! Thash!! Thashhhh!!

Mom: What are you doing???

Sam: I am shooting bullets! (pause) and I am peeing!

Mom: Ok! Finish everything and come out!!!

Sam: Coming!!.Boom! Boom! ….they are all dead!.

*****

[Quotes]

 

“I think fishes are knitting socks for each other”

 

“I think I have like real taste buds in my eye”

Talismaan: Chandrakanta, the Movie, the real whatever it is!!

Can somebody please tell me;

1)   Why the hell is Amitabh Bachchan looking like a crude blend of Saruman/Dumbledore/Mad Eye Moody?

2)   Why the hell does he shout ‘NO WAR!!” and then pulls out his sword. I mean, com’on “No War”! Was it supposed to be message for still president George W. Bush.

3)   Why is he carrying with him, a glass sword? Glass Sword!!!! Whats wrong with water balloons then?

4)   Why is the lettering on swords most often in Chinese?

5)   Why does the glass sword change into an ugly half dragon, half night crawler kind of character at the end of trailer? Why could’nt they choose something prettier, less uglier, and not so trite?

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Anonymous Smiles

 

“…every Indian’s name means something..isn’t it?” asked my American friend of 10 minutes and continued, “So! (pause) what does your name mean?”

“Oh! It means ‘Pride'” I replied, feeling proud of the fact that it means ‘pride’ and I know that it means ‘pride’. I mean, there is a very good possibility that I might have a name that may contain in itself a whole mythological tale but I may be abashedly unknown to it.

“So what kind of pride are you?” was the next shocker!

“A proud one!” I said and as if the answer was not bad enough, I followed it with a totally disoriented laughter, which sounded like a train off its rails.

Pause from his side.

Smile and pause from my side.

“So what is one thing that you are proud of about yourself?” he questioned and that very moment I knew that this guy couldn’t be my friend. He asks too many questions.

Now here comes a question that I should always be prepared of but me being me, decided to think at that very moment and came up with this very heartfelt and cheesy reply, “I am proud of the fact that I can make people laugh!”

The guy smiled.

 “..and in some cases, just make them smile!”

The guy laughed. Maybe we can be friends, after all!.

 

There have been times when I have failed miserably at doing any of the things I said, but  that does not take away the fact that I will always love to see people smiling and happy. (wow! that’s a beauty pageant type statement). And now finally we come to  real reason for this post. I have always believed that a logo5very good way to make people smile is to surprise them. I mean not in drop-a-piece-half-eaten-watermelon-on-their-head type surprise but the good pleasant one type surprise! And I had noticed, quite sometime back that Gauri had started this thing called Anonymous Smiles. Amazing idea! She makes hand drawn postcards and sends it to people that you want to deliver a ‘smile of surprise’. Just going through the site made me smile overwhelmingly at the idea. Kudos to Gauri for starting this and I just wanted to say, “Keep on spreading Happiness!”

 

Ok now! Is somebody going to give me my crown? 🙂

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Scribbles from Last Week [Week 45, 2008]

[Conversation]

“You can’t be the playboy and president at the same time. It’s not high school or the undergrad college. Its @#$%ing life my friend, its life!”

(pause)….”But Clinton was both of them!”

*****

[Conversation]

“I wish I was born the same day as you, in the same hospital and wish that I was lying in the cradle next to you. I would have held your hand at that very moment. That ways I would not have been late!”

“That is the worst cheesiest line I have heard!”

 

*****

[Quote]

“I needed water and it started raining. Now I am scared!”

 

*****

[Quote]

“The world is falling one brick at a time and halfway through the whole thing, I always press the ‘Reset’ button.”

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Election Hoopla!

 

In my last two hours before going to sleep last night, I had heard the promise of  “Change”, “New world order”, “New Dawn”, …so much that I woke up today expecting that my room would have transformed itself into inside of an egyptian pyramid . A limo would come to bus stop instead of the same old white-with-red-stripes-slowly-dragging-itself bus. Alas! No limo! But there was change! Change in people’s optimism! I have never seen so many college-going students so excited about presidential elections. Actually, congratulating each other instead of saying “Who cares?” or “Doesn’t really matter!”

 

My personal opinion on things..ehm..I am happy that finally it is over! I loved the excitement around it initially but it was a bit too overstretched. The only thing that I am going to miss after Obama takes oath as Mr. President, is media coverage of George W. Bush. I am no big fan of that man…actually I am no fan at all! But I am concerned about the content on comedy central. What are they gonna do? The guy was a constant source of material..I am so worried…But I guess, with him missing from highest office, we will have other reasons to laugh…

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Scribbles from Last Week [Week 44, 2008]

 

[Conversation]

“You know I feel its all useless…i should take control..i should..ehm..change things…like move on…like seriously move on…I mean in real sense, not just linger on…its pathetic the way it is….”

“What the hell are you talking…just go and eat chocolate, get the milk-almond one for me”

*****

[Conversation]

“I should have been a pirate”

“What then?”

“Nothing! I would have designed my own flag.”

“Yeah sure, I am thinking that I should have my own coat of arms”

******

[Quote]

‘If I ever get stuck below a frozen lake, I will eat my way out’ -Me

 

‘I just need to date a girl whose name starts with ‘Z’ and I will complete all the alphabets.’-Anonymous

******

[Conversation]

“I hate when people keep on buzzing me with Diwali greetings. Its so very disturbing”

“You know, you are modern day Scrooge right?! Ghost of Diwali past, present and future are going to pay you a visit soon!”

“Are they going to give their greetings too? How disturbing!!”

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