Did ANYONE besides me, watch ‘Midnight Meat Train’? Yeah! it’s a movie! It is a movie where one guy goes on smashing people’s heads, eyes, limbs with a shiny hammer.
When I tell people that I watched that movie, people always ask, “Why?” And my answer, “I had no choice, it was either this one or the ‘Attack of giant leeches’ and I know that latter would have ended with hero spraying tons of salt on big leeches.
Since I am one of those very few who watched that movie, and I figure that most of you wont even try to watch it, I hereby present before you the commentary of that movie. (Warning: May contain spoilers! But I don’t think you should worry, you are anyways not going to watch it.)
1. There is this guy who smashes people’s head on the midnight subway train. In his day job, he happens to be a butcher.
2. There is this other guy, who is a photographer and prefers to click portraits without taking permission from his subjects. So you know he is bound to get in trouble.
3. Then there are few other guys who are there in the movie to come below butcher’s hammer while photographer clicks from other train compartment.
4. Butcher has a wardrobe that seems borrowed from Danny Ocean. And somehow somebody has mastered the art of making tuxedos that are blood repellent, so all this while train gets splashed with blood, the butcher always comes out wearing a spotless suit.
5. The movie is longer than it seems. When you think that this is just another slasher movie, where the hero’s fiancé/girlfriend/wife is going to shoot the slasher and end credits would roll on, the movie takes a twist. A big twist and then you start wondering that ‘Are you still watching the same movie?’
6. Apparently NYPD knows about what is going on and they are part of a much bigger conspiracy. If you are looking at the half-eaten piece of sausage in your plate, don’t worry, the conspiracy is not big enough to feed you human meat.
7. It is based on a short story. My opinion; it was better off as short story only and there was hardly a need to adapt it on screen, and show headless bodies, bodyless heads, eyes-hanging-out-of-eye-sockets, some body part without other parts, and vice versa.
I am now wondering, if I should have gone in for, ‘Attack of giant leaches’.