This week, I got my first pet. It is a male Siamese fighter fish, and after two days with him as my roommate, we are already like good friends who don’t talk much. I spent the whole last two nights waking up after every one hour and walking up to fish bowl to check that it has not jumped out of it or not broken the bowl by hitting it hard enough or grown too large for it or developed into some weird creature who has potential abilities to eat me while I am in sleep. After two such nights, I have come to the conclusion that if I cover the fish bowl partially with the DVD of ‘Blair Witch Project’ and sleep hidden under my bed, while a dummy sleeps on my bed, the chances of me being eaten alive are very less.
The girl at PETCO had said that these fishes are very aggressive as it is a SIAMESE fighter fish. She had stressed on ‘Siamese’ more than ‘fighter’. She had also added that I can not keep any other fish in bowl with it as he will kidnap their babies and ask for ransom, tear away fins of other fishes and somehow stitch it to its own, pierce their gills with its whiskers, put some sort of duct tape on eyes of other fishes while they sleep, tear everybody else to pieces and/or kill them. I actually trusted the PETCO girl on everything but the duct tape thing. Although the girl seemed to know a lot about fishes, but its really hard to find the free end of a duct tape even with both hands. The girl told me a couple of things about the fishes and all this while she kept on looking at her watch as if she had just fed a turtle some ‘self-destruct-in-5-sec’ goggles and time for our survival was running out. On my last question she had said “you can feed him whatever you want!” but she gave me that look which said “it would be good if you feed yourself to it! And now let me go! Turtle is going to blow up!”
I think I should not have trusted the girl just because she was wearing blue. All her talk about it being the aggressive fish seems a farce. It’s damn lazy (typically like me). It never moves, whatever you may try. My friends keep on tapping on the fish bowl, put their finger in water, drop nachos in bowl, sing operas, do tap dance and much more, just to see it move. But I guess what it is waiting for is somebody to put his head inside his bowl, so that it can jump straight at the eyeballs. I actually bought a magnifying glass yesterday to look at his eyes to make sure that its not on dope.
The only time when it moves is when I play music. It loves John Williams ‘Window to the Past’ and hates rock! Wow already we differ on some things. But I can enjoy rock as long as the speakers are out of water, or it goes into hyper-evolution mode and evolves enough to buy its own iPod.
A friend of mine, suggested that I should give it a name. I thought of names like Hope, Ninja, Hellboy 2.5, PETCOAT, Blues, Street Fighter, ……. But then I saw that it really enjoys the miniature 3-pillared structure, which is Greek-roman in architecture. If it ever moves, it makes it a point to enter between two pillars and come out from next two. First time I saw it doing so, I thought that it is going to tie a knot with its own body. I was already on my way to search the 911 number for pets. But it is so smooth it its movements and seems so blissful when he is around those ancient looking structures, that I decided to name it ‘CAESAR’.