Romulus with Some Number

 

‘Not every child thrown to wolves becomes a hero”

                                                            —– Somebody (Obviously!!)

Yeah so true! Tell this to my parents who had thrown me in front of wolves. Well the fact that they wanted me to become a hero was just one reason. My being too troublesome and my habit of making up fictional stories that destroyed at least 3 marriages and forced one person to visit a ghost hunter, had something to do with my parents extreme step.

One day when I drank a full bottle of blue ink and I turned totally blue. My parents took me to that crazy doctor who it seemed had not got off his chair for a decade then and his chair somehow seemed to have molded itself around that man. So that crazy man said that there was no way out and the only way I can get it out is becoming writer and bring that ink on paper. I am pretty sure he said that to cheer me up. But it was only me who was cheered up that day, as my parents nuisance child become a socially unacceptable child. (If you think that being white/black is minority, think of being blue!). So just a week later, I found myself lying in a forest.

What do you do in such situation?
Try to save yourself or at least think of saving yourself.
How do you feel in such situations?
I don’t know as I did not feel anything. I just slept for most days. So a few days into this place and I was attacked by wolves. And when they attacked, I was saved by my blue color and Herman. I assume wolves don’t like blue cheese and then Herman was there for me. Herman is actually a two and one quarter toed sloth. Well he was a three toed sloth but he lost three quarters of a toe to the exacting scenarios during Forest War II. A nice jolly fellow he is!

I did get friendly with wolves after a few more meetings. And well they did help me a lot. But I could never join the league of Romulus, Remus Lupin or Mowgli. All heroes! Rest of my life is pretty banal like most of you guys. When wolves realized that I was too much of a sloth myself and sloth realized that I am too much of a wolf myself, they all decided that It was time for me to leave forest.

Once back among humans, I did what my doctor had suggested long time back. I started writing. My first story was obviously the one about my stay with sloths and wolves. People occasionally ask me questions like:

 
Are you a werewolf?

No! they never bit me! They really really hate blue color.

What is your name?

Romulus with some number.

What is the full name of your friend?

Its ‘Herman Dolloway the two and one quarter sloth!’

Did you have your clothes on when your parents left you in forest?

No! they are ruthless. I think they did not want to give me an unfair advantage over animals. They did not even leave me with underwear on. (Mowgli was lucky on that front)

All the kids thrown to wolves become heroes. Do you think you are going to be next hero?

Well I think Rome has already been found. I am not a werewolf and Mowgli is too clichéd to become hero now. So I guess as somebody who had lot of time at hand to think of wolves and children together, said, ” Not every child thrown to wolves becomes a hero’

Some just become food!

PS: This is definitely one of the dumbest post on Antisense Strand!

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Romulus with Some Number

  1. Charu says:

    This is undoubtedly the most anti sense post !! I was eating an apple and it dropped from my hand when i read the obviously next to someone after the first line !
    You and your imagination.. a perfect Antisense 🙂

  2. I have one more question for you:
    What happened to Herman after you left? 😛

  3. Gaurav says:

    @Charu

    Thanks…I take that as a compliment. 😉

    @Devashree

    Last heard he was in rehab….poor ol’ chap was not able handle publicity too well… 🙂

  4. PS says:

    You are a hero of sorts, so what that only a handful of us in State College read your blog and it is this community that you are the hero of ? Hence, Someone is obviously wrong 😀 😀

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