Whenever I watch a movie, I have this weird habit of imagining different actors playing a role besides the one actually on screen. Yesterday, I watched ‘The Mist’. Based on a Stephen King book, it’s a story about a bunch of malfunctioning disco smoke machines. Oops, am sorry, that was story of a different movie titled, “The Disco Smoke”. ‘The Mist’ is actually about parallel universes, church, stem cells, dog food, a bunch of weird insects (with growth hormone over expression), and mist. I am serious this time. So it is about a group of people who get struck in a local store during this freak storm that brings all the weird monsters with it. I hate those flying monsters. I digress here. So back to other actors playing the lead role in this movie about the survival on mankind. So here is my list of people who could have played the lead role and how movie would have turned out in those cases.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: Who else can save earth better than our Governor of California? He has done it before, he can do it again. A local store surrounded by monsters, perfect scene for entry of our Governor. He would have gone out, picked up that chain gun from his car and whoops, ‘Alien God save aliens’.
Sylvester Stallone: Imagine a 5 min shot, where our good old Rambo collects all the knives, forks in the local store and accouters himself for his war against monsters. Oh! Don’t forget the black face paint using Blueberry marmalade. Rambo takes time to dress up but once ready it would mean the end of monsters. A 60 ft. monster dying due to a kitchen knife piercing his heart. Only Rambo can do this act.
(Good Question: Do alien monsters have hearts. If yes, are there hearts like ours, shaped like a betel leaf minus its tapering tip. )
Jim Carey: That’s my favorite. He would have tied knots with tentacles of that big octopus. He would have said, ” Alrighty then!!” after seeing every monster. Asked them about their pets, family blah blah. But believe me he would have killed monsters by making them laugh. Don’t you know that monsters don’t laugh because their stomach muscles are pretty weak and easily give in to a hard laugh?
Will Smith: He has fought with monsters and, he has fought robots. I don’t have to say anymore. He would have rocked.
Matthew Perry: Blank
Most Indian Actors: Besides singing and dancing around the monster tentacles, they would have fought all the oddities coming between him and his love. They would have finally married and lived happily after. Oh! The monster! Yeah he would have been dead in first half of movie itself. I would have loved to see Sunny Deol, Rajnikant and Chanderchur Singh in the movie. (Chander Who?!!)