Indiblogger of the Month
Yours truly’s totally untruly yours blog has been nominated for the Indiblogger of the month Contest. Yayyyyy!!! Yippeeeeee!!!!! (jump on bed)!!!! (catching my breath)…Yayyyy!!
A quick look at all the other nominee’s and I am pretty sure that I don’t deserve to win -there are way more funnier blogs. But just in case, you think different, you can follow the link, and vote. (Oh! there are 21 hours left for voting). But what I would suggest is that do check the list of nominee’s, there are some amazing blogs listed there.
Indiblogger of the Month (Original Humor Category)
Oh and just in case, you vote for me because you are high right now (and my blog happened to be first on list there)/you decided to click on vote with your eyes closed (and I got lucky)/you love this blog/you love me (blush blush), then you will get an iPOD from my side. I have a lot of them because I always visit sites as their 100, 000th visitor and they always say, “conGRATULATIONSS!!! you have won an iPOD touch”
Anyways, remember, there are only 21 hours left. The list might just vanish after that…
UPDATE: ….and just in case, you don’t vote for me, my friend Matt is going to ask his pet gnomes to build nests in your hairs, drill holes in your brain, sell gray matter to leprechauns, and fill the drilling holes with valium (they are really polite).
It happened to my friend’s friend…
Happened to You = True *
*If you are not on crack or you are not schizophrenic or you are not totally sloshed.
Happened to your friend = Its probably true **
** Depends on which friend it is.
Happened to your friend’s friend = Not true ***
*** I have heard about friend’s friend who have seen unicorns that poop rainbows, butterflies that can swallow Chihuahuas, dodos roaming in their village (in 1990’s), have dated international pageant winners.
Especially, when it comes to acts of grandpa’s, its mostly not true. I have heard about friend’s friend’s grandpa who was kidnapped by aliens and then he came back after beating the crap out of them, or grandpas who defeated the whole Nazi army single handedly, or grandpas who discovered a flying machine before Wright brothers/Montgolfier or hmmm…yeah..my favorite…grandpa who found Wonderland and rescued Alice from there!
What are you watching?
This might piss off some people…but I am in a mood to piss off people today, anyways…so if you are pissed off by this…I don’t care!
Anyways, it can be read both ways, Art imitates life and vice versa.Though, making a serial about a random girl getting married on TV, or a bunch of idiots locked in same house, fighting each other is hardly an ‘art’. But whatever!
Apologies…
…to the couple who asked directions to East College Avenue, and I mistakenly sent you to West College Avenue. I genuinely thought East was west and west was east.
…to the guy who asked about University Blvd. and I told you about University Terrace Blvd. I came to know today that they are different.
…to the stranger on scooter who asked directions to Rajouri Garden and probably with my directions you landed in Raja Garden. Well, I am guessing you were going to the mall, there are good ones in Raja garden too!
…to the guy who was talking about Bellafonte (Switzerland), and I said, “oh, its just 10 min away from State College (Pennsylvania)”. There is one there too, you know!
Says I
This is the 10th time I am asking myself today, “What is wrong with this world?” and every time I get the same answer, “Its people.”
*****
“I always wanted to be a pilot but then I realized I have vertigo. Till this day I am looking for a vacancy posting for extremely low flying pilots.”
*****
“Can you even pat a Chihuava without killing it?”
*****
“Trickty trickty rikity boo,
Eternity fraternity says who
Not going good, phew!”
*****
“Do Amish people take fruit cake requests?”
*****
“The biggest mistake that humankind made was to divide the time into different days, and then unnecessarily relate some of these days with psychological happiness or sadness.”
*****
Food vs Sleep
This graph is based on a lot of assumptions and some other things that I can’t remeber the word for. Anyways, i would have explained all the things but i had Indian for lunch and i am ……ZZzzzzz (Snore Snore) (Kidding! I never snore.)
Target is on move…
Anybody who sees CSI-Miami, CSI-NY, CSI-Timbaktu, CSI-Moon, CSI-Mars, FBI, NCIS, CID (Indian one), SWAT, UID (Ugandan Investigation Dept. –ohhh, I love that one), or any other TV serial/movie about a group of astoundingly efficient detectives who behave as one big dysfunctional family, would be aware of this one particular scene, that is, when a detective in plain clothes (tuxedo on most occasions) is following a potential (almost sure) culprit, and he hushes, not in a microphone, not in phone receiver, no form of sound receiving device, but just that invisible thin air around his mouth, “Target is on move” and the whole investigative unit gets into action.
What is their problem, man! If the point is to remain under cover, then from a third person’s perspective, why would you start talking to yourself! Anybody and everybody notices the guy in party who is talking to himself. People think that even people with Bluetooth phone speakers are stupid! You don’t even have that!
Anyways, since I raised the question, I will provide a solution too; Why can’t we hire ventriloquists as special agents? I mean, you will still hear sounds but your agent remains undercover all throughout the party. Pretty neat. Isn’t it??
Dragon and Toothbrush
Here is another of my pathetic attempts at cartooning and ’slip on a banana peel’ humor/2nd grader humor/(maybe just utterly poor joke). Since i don’t trust my sketching abilities, I have labeled the cartoon pretty heavily (as we used to do in high school biology exam) so that you can understand it. If not, read further for details (*Spoiler Alert*)
But just for smiles, imagine a dragon brushing his teeth in morning and then that untimely cough! Poof!
Whatever, no need to tell me that its a bad attempt. Look at the brighter side, dragon kinda looks cute. I am improving at drawing!
Normal humor programming will resume soon!
